Shattered Perfection
by Lauralogan80
Summary: Lila's perfect image is shattered in an unwanted shock pregnancy. While her friends turn away from her, she finds support in the most unlikely person.
1. Chapter 1

Shattered Perfection

…..

I don't own the characters.

…..

Waking up, Lila groaned as the light hit her eyes. What had happened last night? She remembered arriving with Rhonda and Nadine, then doing the whole Wallflower routine while everyone got drunk around her. She sipped her coke. She was talking to Ludwig. She was feeling dizzy, he and Wolfgang had helped her to lie down.

That was all she could remember.

Her lower stomach felt sore as heck! And she hurt . . . Down There. Her thighs felt bruised, and her hair had sticky dry stuff in her hair, and could feel it on her face and other parts of her body. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her racing heart. 'Please, no,' she thought to herself. 'No, no, no!' She started to silently sob. She struggled to sit up when she heard knocking on the door. She looked beside her for a sheet to cover herself, but before she could the door opened and Ludwig was standing there smirking at her, and tossed a McDonald's bag at her.

"Rise and shine, slut!"

…

~Eight Weeks Later~

"I mean, honestly, Pheebs, what could I say to him?" Lila heard Helga's voice ask. She lifted her legs up onto the toilet so no one would know she was there.

"There's nicer ways to turn a guy down," she heard Phoebe tell her best friend. She sniffled.

"Yeah, I know. But he doesn't deserve nice," she said. "Wolfgang is a prick. And his lame-o friends are dicks."

"Yes, but-"

"Shhh, do you hear that?" Helga asked.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

Lila held her breath. Had Helga heard her?

"Someone's crying or something," she said. "Are you alright?"

Lila was quiet for a moment.

"I know your in there," she said, banging on the door. "Are you alright?"

Lila continued to stay silent.

"Suit yourself," she heard Helga say. "Come on Pheebs."

Lila listened as the door opened then closed. She let out a noisy sob, and placed her face in her hands. Then she looked up to see Helga looking down at her over the top of the stall.

"What's up Miss Perfect?" she asked, smirking. "Dog died or-"

Helga's eyes went wide.

"Oh my God!" she disappeared and the next thing Lila knew, Helga was shimmiing her way under the door into the stall. She grabbed the stick out of Lila's hands. "Holy fuck, you are!"

"I'm pregnant," Lila said, before she threw up all over Helga's shoes.

…

"I'm so sorry, Helga," Lila said.

"No biggie," she said, shrugging. "Olga got them for me for my birthday. Ugly things anyway."

Lila watched as Helga dropped them in the bin, then proceed to wash her feet off.

"Good thing I'm wearing a skirt today instead of jeans, huh?" she said. "So what the fuck babe?"

Lila just shook her head.

"You know the daddy?" Helga asked, using the soap from the dispenser on her legs and feet.

"Wolfgang or Ludwig," Lila said. "But I don't know. I don't remember anything. They may have had nothing to do with it."

Helga snorted.

"Yeah right, and I'm in line for a Sainthood," she said, switching legs. "Think you were drugged? Cause that's rape and you should totally get them done for it."

"I have no proof," Lila said.

"Yeah, cause, you know, the little person in your tummy has, like, no DNA or anything," she said sarcastically. "Seriously though, you should at least make a report. If nothing else, there's a paper trail."

"I haven't even seen a doctor," Lila said. "I haven't told my dad. What am I going to tell him Helga? I'm sixteen. I can't have a baby!"

"Well, you could have an abortion," Helga said, twisting her mouth. Lila could tell by the look on her face and the tone she used that it wouldn't be her first choice.

"I don't know," Lila said, leaning against the wall.

"How about I come over to your place after school? Bring Pheebs along," Helga suggested. "Phoebe will know what to do."

…

"I have no idea what to do," Phoebe said. "I suppose we could get books out."

"Well first things first," Helga said in an authorative voice. "You need to see a doctor. Maybe it's just a hormone imbalance or something?"

The three girls were quiet while the thought.

"Thankyou, Helga, Phoebe, for coming over," Lila said.

"Why are we over?" Phoebe asked without thinking.

"Because my life is boring at the moment and I want to throw myself into some drama," Helga told her. "Jesus Phoebe, really?"

Lila looked up as her dad came in the door.

"Oh, hi honey, I didn't know you were going to have friends over," he said, smiling in at the girls.

"Neither did she, but we invited ourselves over," Helga said. "Ps, your outta pastrami."

Lila's mouth dropped open. Helga was such an audacious person, that she often seemed rude. Helga burped. No. she wasn't audatious after all. Just rude.

"It was good pastrami."

Lila could tell her father didn't know what to say or do.

"Oh, uh, glad you liked it," he said, looking to Lila. Lila shrugged.

"We better be off anyway," Helga said. As she walked past Mr. Sawyer, she smiled. "Thanks for the snack."

Phoebe gathered her things together and followed Helga out the door, smiling at Mr. Sawyer shyly as she passed him.

"Daddy, you need to sit down," she said.

"What's up?" he asked, walking in and sitting down next to her, smiling.

Lila's heart was breaking.

"I'm pregnant."

…

Lila sat in her room waiting for the police to show up. She texted Helga quickly, asking her to come over. Helga was strong. Helga was brave. Helga was unflappable. Lila needed that. When she heard a knock on the door, she jumped up from her bed and rushed down the stairs.

"Lila cant come to the door right now," her father was saying.

"No, dad, please, I need her here!" Lila yelled. She reached past her father and grabbed Helga's hand and pulled her inside, and up to her room.

"What's going on?" Helga asked, watching as Lila slammed the door.

"I told my father," she told her. "He called the police."

"Good job, but why am I here?" Helga asked.

"I need moral support," Lila said.

Helga sat silently, staring at her.

"You do realise I'm not your best friend, right?" she asked. "That's Rhonda and Nadine."

"Would you tell them something like this?" Lila demanded, testily.

"Good point," Helga said, leaning back on her arms on Lila's bed. "Soo…"

"Lila, they're here," her dad said.

"Let's go," Helga said, linking an arm with her. "I'll be right here."

….


	2. Chapter 2

(Please note: Both my pregnancies were in New Zealand. It's different to the states. So I'm going on what I know.)

…..

…..

…..

"Nadine!" Rhonda called out, waving her arm in the air to catch her best friends attention. "Nadine, you wont believe what I just saw!"

Nadine stopped an looked over towards Rhonda who was pushing people out of her way without a word. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"What is it, Rhonda?" Nadine asked, sighing. She was tired. It had been a busy weekend.

"I just saw Helga and Phoebe buying pregnancy suppliments at the store!" she said loudly, so the people immediately around them could hear. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"That someone they know is pregnant?" Nadine suggested.

"Yeah. One of them," Rhonda said. "My bet is on Helga. Phoebe just isn't like that, you know."

"OH, hi Lila!" Nadine called out. Rhonda turned to see her friend was looking a little under the weather.

"Oh. My. God," she said. "You look really sick."

"I'm not well," Lila said, walking past them. A few minutes later Rhonda saw Helga and Phoebe walking in, heads close together whispering.

"So who is it?" Rhonda asked, staring directly at Helga.

"Who's what?" Phoebe asked.

"Pregnant!" Rhonda said at the top of her lungs.

Phoebe went bright red. Just across from Rhonda's locker was Gerald's and there he was. Standing there, team jacket on, talking to a fellow player, but stopping and looking their way at Rhonda's outburst.

"It you, isn't it Helga?" Rhonda asked out loud. People turned to stare at her.

"Excuse me?" Helga scoffed.

"Well it wouldn't be Phoebe. She's not that stupid," Rhonda said.

Helga arched a brow. "Coming from the girl who failed all her classes last year and was only moved up because her mommy and daddy made a very, very, generous donation to the school, that's a bit rich," Helga sneered. Harold laughed in the background, and a few around snickered.

Rhonda's eyes narrowed.

"So you got an abortion, then," Rhonda stated.

Helga rolled her eyes.

"To have an abortion I would have had to be pregnant," she informed her. "I'm not, and never have been pregnant. And neither is Phoebe."

"I am," Lila said, coming forward. There was gasps of surprise from people around them, then utter silence. "I'm ten weeks."

"Oh my God," Nadine said quietly.

"You?" Rhonda asked in disbelief. "Your pregnant?"

Lila nodded.

"But I saw Helga and Phoebe picking up pregnancy tablets," Rhonda said.

"I can't handle the smell of that place," Lila told her. "It turns my stomach."

Rhonda was looking between Lila, Phoebe and Helga, who smirked, but said nothing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rhonda asked, nose thoroughly out of joint.

"Look what you just did, Rhonda," Lila pointed out. "You just cant keep that stupid mouth of yours shut!"

Even Helga's jaw dropped at that outburst.

"Well I never," Rhonda finally gasped.

"Well now you have," Lila snapped. She slammed her locker and stalked off leaving a group of shocked peers behind her. Finally Helga found her voice.

"That. Was. Awesome!"

…

Lila sat quietly in the library, hiding away down the back so as not to be seen. She was skipping English, and would probably skip her last two classes of the day as well. Everyone had heard by now what had happened that morning.

Everyone knew she was pregnant.

She got the pity stares, the disgusted stares, the judging stares, and the curious stares. Also the smug stares from the girls who used to call her a snob, and stuck up because she wouldn't associate with them. The only one not treating her any different was Helga and Phoebe. Helga still smirked at, rather than smiled at, her. Phoebe did her friendly smile as she passed and said "Hello". But they didn't stop to talk. Rhonda and Nadine said nothing to her all day. Finally the staring and whispering got too much, and she took off seeking refuge somewhere. Anywhere!

Last period of the day is when Helga found her.

"Lila, what are you doing back here?" she asked, kneeling down to her level.

"Hiding," Lila said. "From the stares, the whispering, the glee on peoples faces."

Helga was quiet a moment.

"Have you heard back from the police?" she finally asked. Lila nodded.

"They'll do what they can, but . . . They're not hopeful," she admitted. "They said I should have gone to them as soon as it happened."

"So they aren't going to do anything?" Helga asked, anger creeping into her voice.

"I don't know. I think they're going to talk to Wolfgang and Ludwig, but it's they're word against mine . . ." Lila's sentence drifted off. Then she sobbed loudly. "I don't know what to do, Helga!"

Helga patted her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"It will be okay," she said. "I'm sure everything will work out in the end."

Lila laughed. "Are you and Arnold talking again?"

"Why?" Helga asked defensively.

"You sounded like him just then," Lila said. Helga sighed.

"No. I mean, not for lack of trying on his end," she admitted. "But I just don't know what to say, you know?"

"You could always talk about me," Lila suggested, adding bitterly, "Everyone else is."

Helga left her hand on Lila's shoulder while Lila cried out the last of her tears.

"You know what the worst part is, though?" Lila asked.

"Your friends turning they're backs on you?" Helga said.

"Yeah. I mean, just the weekend before they were my best friends, all concerned because I wasn't eating, and was feeling ill," Lila said. "But now, nothing!"

"I'm sorry, Lila," Helga said.

"Why? Did you get me up the duff?" she asked angrily.

"No," Helga said. "But your in a really sucky situation, and it sucks, and you don't deserve to be treated like that, especially by your "best friends" ."

"I go for a dating scan today, after school," Lila said quietly. "Do you want to come with me? We'll probably talk about options, too."

"Whatever, nothing else to do after school," Helga said like it was no big deal.

"Thanks, Helga," Lila said, giving her a hug.

"Hey, hey, hey," Helga said, pulling away, but smiling. "Just because I'm coming with you and letting you soak my shirt with tears, doesn't mean we get mushy."

…

…

"Where is it?" Helga demanded.

"There," the scanner told her, pointing.

"Looks like a bean with shoots," Helga said. Then she looked at Lila. "Are you sure your pregnant? Maybe you just swallowed a bean and it got stuck there? Or were you getting kinky with veges? I've heard of people getting things stuck up there. Ever had to scan for one of those, doc?"

Lila smiled, holding back a laugh. The look on the radiologists face was priceless.

"I'm not a doctor," the woman sniffed. "I'm a radiologist."

"Oh, my deepest apologies," Helga said, rolling her eyes. "So if your not a doctor, how can you tell she's really pregnant."

"There's a heartbeat," the woman said, pointing to a small spot on the screen.

"A heartbeat?" Lila asked shocked. "But I only got pregnant eight weeks ago!"

"So you'd be ten weeks along then, which would match up to what we're seeing," the woman said. "I'm guessing your due date around July."

Lila looked at Helga, but she was busy looking at the screen.

"That's amazing," she whispered. "Are those the arms and legs?"

The radiologists eyes widened a bit. "Yep. And that's the unbilical cord."

"So it's a fully functioning human?" Lila asked.

"Pretty much," the woman said smiling. "There's still a lot of growing to go."

"Oh, wow! It's moving," Helga said.

"Yep. Everything is where it should be. It's healthy. "

As the woman kept on talking, Lila felt her heart sink.

She couldn't terminate.

…..

"So there are a variety of options," the doctor told her. "The three basics. Keep and raise. Adoption. Abortion."

"No abortion," Lila stated firmly.

"Okay, well on the other two options, because of your age, child services will be involved. They will push for adoption," the doctor warned her. "Where is your parent or guardian?"

"He couldn't get the time off work today," Lila said, fishing in her bag for his work number. She handed it to the doctor. "He said to call if you had any concerns. And he apologizes profusely."

"I will give him a call," she said, placing the card by her phone. "How does he feel about the pregnancy?"

"I think he's more interested in killing the guys responsible, to be perfectly honest," Lila told her.

"And the father?"

"Not involved," Lila admitted, feeling ashamed. The doctor seeing this, gave her a kind smile.

"I know it's a terrible predicament to be in, and society expects you to feel ashamed. But it's really not so bad," she said. "Not ideal, but not bad either. Some of the best mother's I've met have been teenage mothers. As long as you have support you will be fine."

"I was raped," Lila blurted. Helga looked at the floor, and the doctor was stunned.

"Oh, I see," she said frowning. "Well, your very brave to be going through with this pregnancy then."

For a while no one said anything, but Lila could see the doctor thinking.

"I'm sending you for blood tests. I'll get them to screen you for anything else you may have picked up. I'll take urine samples as well, of course," she told her. She pulled out a pad and started ticking a bunch of boxes. "You've had no itchiness or irritation?"

"Uh, no," Lila answered, looking at Helga.

"What are you looking at me for? I'm not your fanny," she said. Lila smiled, which made the doctor smile. "What? I'm not!"

"Alright, pee in the cup, then we'll dip the sticks in it-"

"But I already did the test, I'm pregnant," Lila said, taking the cup from her.

"This isn't a pregnancy test, dear, it's a test to check the glucose and protein levels in your urine. They can tell us if there's any reason to be concerned," she informed her with a smile.

"Oh, okay," Lila said. "I'll be back in a minute."

Walking down to the toilet she felt nervous, which she supposed was good, because it made her desire to pee that much stronger. She did her business, then went back to the room, handing the small cup back to the doctor, who smiled at her and dipped the sticks in, then took them out to look at them quickly, before throwing them into a special little bin she down beside her desk.

"That's fine," she said.

"That's it?" Lila asked.

"Yep, just a quick test," she said smiling, while typing away at her computer. Then she pulled out a folder, and hit print. "I need to know a few other things about family history."

Lila answered as best as she could, when half way through there was a knock on the door, it opened to reveal her father on the other side standing next to a nurse.

"Dad, you made it!" she said, jumping up, and giving him a hug.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner," he said. "Hello." He reached out and shook hands with the doctor introducing himself, then helping Lila with questions.

"Okay, I think that's all I need for now," she said, printing everything off times two, and dividing them into two to place in two different folders, one of which she gave to Lila, along with her blood test papers. "Go as soon as you can. The results will be sent directly to me, and then I will pass them onto you. In the mean time, really think over your options. I've placed information in the folder for you."

"Thankyou so much," Lila said, tears coming to her eyes.

"Not a problem," she said. "I want to see you again in two weeks. I've set up a timetable already, which is in your folder. I'll make your appointment for your anatomy scan now, to be sure you get in."

Lila nodded.

"Folic acid, and a lot of milk. More than you would usually drink. You need it more than what an adult would. There's a book in this pack which has all the information you need," the doctor told her, handing her a bag. "There's also vouchers in the book."

Lila thanked her again, got her stuff together, then left with Helga and her father.

"Well, that wasn't so scary now, was it?" Helga asked.

…

The next day at school was worse for Lila. Rhonda completely ignored her, people were still looking at her and whispering about her, Nadine, bless her, smiled and said hello, but nothing more. Helga and Phoebe weren't here yet, so she was on her own. She saw some people crowded around her locker and her stomach dropped. Instead of going to it, she turned on her heel and walked back outside. She had seen enough movies to know her locker had been trashed by someone, probably an ex-best friend.

"What's wrong, Lila?" she heard Phoebe ask.

"My locker," she said. "I think someone's done something to my locker."

Helga who was coming up behind Phoebe heard what she said.

"Stay here," she told her, heading in. "I'll get your books and stuff." Lila gave her the combination. Phoebe sat down next to Lila while Helga went inside to get Lila's stuff from her locker.

"I can't believe they could be so cruel," she said. "It's not like I deliberately did this to myself, Phoebe. I was drugged and raped."

"I know," she said, rubbing her back. A couple of minutes later Helga returned with Lila's books.

"Was it bad?" Lila asked.

"The Principal is already talking to the people responsible," she said. "They were caught in the act by the janitor. Sounds like they're in a bit of shit for it too."

Lila started to cry again.


	3. Chapter 3

(Short update, sorry. Just letting people know I do intend to keep this fanfic going)

….

….

Lila was in the girls bathroom peeing for what felt like the one hundredth time that day (though she knew it wasn't), when she heard someone come in.

"Honestly, I can't believe someone did that to Lila's locker," she heard Rhonda's voice say. "That was just so wrong."

"I think it has more to do with the fact that Wolfgang and Ludwig are in trouble," she heard Nadine say.

"Yeah, how stupid were they, filming it?" Rhonda said. "Still, good for Lila though."

They were quiet for a moment, and Lila didn't move or make a sound.

"I feel bad," Rhonda said.

"Because your ignoring her?" Nadine asked. "I said hi to her. But I don't think she's much in the mood for talking."

"Helga took me aside and had a snipe at me in Social Studies," Rhonda told her. "But I told her the truth. I don't know what to say to her."

"Lila?"

"Yeah," she heard Rhonda admit. "Helga was all "Don't say anything, just be there, she needs support and friends," and I'm, like "How?", you know?"

"I suppose," Nadine said. "I was really surprised at Helga, to be honest. Phoebe, well she's an angel, but Helga? She could take the throne from the devil."

"Take it?" Rhonda laughed. "Please, she'd walk in, tell him to "Move it Bucko" and he'd give it to her!"

Both girls laughed at that.

"Still, it's really nice of her to be there for Lila," Nadine said. "She's a good friend."

"Yeah, Phoebe and Arnold always used to say that," Rhonda said. "But she's so cold, you know?"

"We should probably get back to class," Nadine said. "Before they send a search party."

"I hate science," Rhonda said, then Lila listened intently as they left and the door closed behind them. Lila finally let out a sob. Rhonda and Nadine hadn't abandoned her after all.

They just felt awkward around her.

…..

…..

"Hi Helga, hi Phoebe," Lila said, smiling brightly. "Isn't it a beautiful day?"

"No day is beautiful before three o'clock," Helga muttered.

"You look to be in a better mood this afternoon," Phoebe said smiling, before taking a bite from her sandwich.

"Yeah, I feel better," she told her, biting into a chocolate muffin. Helga groaned.

"I hate both of you," she said. Without saying anything else she got up and left the cafeteria.

"What's wrong with Helga?" Lila asked. Phoebe sighed.

"She got a letter from Arnold, demanding her to write back," Phoebe said. "She's been making herself sick over it. It's absolutely ridiculous. Those two just cant leave each other alone."

Lila nodded, but said nothing. She had been friends with Arnold while he and Helga had been dating. The two of them were tearing each other apart, but just couldn't stay away from each other. It had sometimes hurt Lila to watch and listen to it. Arnold was so nice, and Helga loved him something fierce. To watch them do what they did . . . she shivered. Everyone was convinced that a nice long break from each other would do them good. But now, whenever anyone heard from Arnold he had to ask them about Helga's life. Helga had cottoned on though, and cut most of them out.

Until recently.

"Do you think they'll work it out?" she asked Phoebe. "It would be so sad to see two people who love each other so much not be able to work it out."

"Eventually," Phoebe said. "I think they both have some growing up to do. They're pretty intense. I don't know how they could stand it. They were just too young and going to far-"

Lila cocked her head to the side. "Too far, as in?"

"You didn't hear it from me, but yeah," she admitted.

"Oh my God!" she gasped. "But we only would've been fourteen?"

Phoebe nodded.

"Keep this to yourself though," she warned. It was the first time Lila had heard a threatening tone come from Phoebe, and it kind of scared her.

…..

….

GET AN ABORTION BITCH!

SLAG! SLUT! WHORE!

HOMEWRECKER!

"Homewrecker?" Helga asked, throwing the note on the floor. "Who's home?"

Lila shook her head, close to tears. Damn being so emotional!

"Why is everyone so mean?" Lila demanded, wiping tears away. "What's their fucking problem?"

"Didn't you know, Lila?" Helga asked. "Lugwig and Wolfgang are the only people in the world who know how to throw, catch and run with a ball, doi! Everyone else are invalids."

She walked to the closest bin and tossed the notes in it. Lila followed along. She wasn't feeling confident and strong today. She woke up feeling horribly sad, and had spent the morning getting ready crying. Then Helga and Phoebe showed up, and she felt better, but now, after seeing those notes, she felt bad all over again.

"Maybe they're right," Lila said. "Maybe I should have had an abortion."

"Pssssh, as if you could live with making that choice!" Helga told her.

It was true. Seeing that heartbeat, everything changed. Lila couldn't have gone through with it.

"Have you thought about what your going to do afterwards?" Helga asked, opening the door and following Lila outside.

"I'm thinking of adoption," Lila said honestly. "But . . . I'm worried, you know? How will I know that he or she is going to a good home?"

Helga was quiet and looking at the ground. Then she took Lila's hand and they made their way to Tina Park.

"Helga, where are we going?" she asked.

"I want to ask you something, and it's . . . difficult . . ." she said. She sat down under a tall tree and Lila sat next to her. Helga sighed. "My sister was pregnant recently."

"Oh, that's wonder . . . Ful . . .I'm sorry, did you say was?" Lila asked.

Helga nodded.

"This is her sixth miscarriage," she confessed. "It's tearing her apart. I found out the other day. I told Phoebe it was because of Arnold's letter, but really. She was so sad. Her husband had to take her to hospital."

"Oh my God," Lila whispered, covering her mouth. "How terrible."

"Which is why . . ."

"Would she want this baby?" Lila asked.

"I wanted to ask you . . . If you would want to tell Olga," she said, her voice breaking. "Seeing my sister like that . . ."

Lila wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Helga started to cry.

"It's completely destroying her, Lila," Helga sobbed. "I know we're not close, but seeing her go through this over and over again is absolutely heartbreaking. Especially because I know she would make such a great mom."

"Would she want to take this baby on though?" Lila asked, hope blossoming in her cheat. This would be perfect! She would know the baby was going to good parents, she could continue her education, and always be in the baby's life as well!

"I don't know," Helga admitted. "I was thinking, maybe you could run the idea by her? Or just tell her, maybe drop hints. But Lila, you would have to be one hundred percent on this. If you weren't and gave her false hope, it would kill her, I know it would."

"I could be one hundred percent, if she wants to do this," Lila said. "When can we see her?"

"We could catch a bus over there now," Helga told her. "I will need to text her first though, to be sure it's okay."

"Do it!" Lila said eagerly.

….

….

Lila smiled when she looked up at the house. It was an old Queen Anne style, complete with a tower, and a big tree in the front. It was perfect!

"Come on," Helga said, taking her hand and leading her up the path to the door and ringing the bell. olga was the one who answered the door. The wonderful aroma of what she was cooking for dinner filled Lila's nostrals and made her so hungry!

"Oh, baby sister!" Olga cried out, enveloping Helga in a big bear hug.

"Yeah, yeah, save it for your husband, you sap," she said, shrugging her shoulders and trying to pull away. Lila smiled. She knew Helga loved this.

"Oh, Lila, hello!" she said, coming out further and giving her a hug too. "Come in, please."

The girls entered the house and dropped their bags on the floor.

"Shouldn't you two be in school?" Olga asked, frowning a little.

"Teacher Only Day," Helga lied. "How's the bees knees doing, anyway?"

"I'm fine, thankyou . . .Helga," Olga turned away, tears welling up in her eyes. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes and turned back around. "I'm making Beef Goulash for dinner, Helga. Would you two like to stay for dinner? There's more than enough."

"Uh, maybe," Helga said, looking over at Lila.

"I'm pregnant do you want it?" Lila suddenly blurted.

"Jesus, Lila, I said tell her about it and ease her into the idea," Helga snapped.

"Your . . . Pregnant?" Olga asked, her face crumpling.

Helga sighed.

"She was thinking of adoption, and you're the first person who popped into m head," Helga said.

Olga looked between the two girls.

"Are you serious?" she asked, incredulous.

"I know I shouldn't have blurted it out that way," Lila said. "I'm so sorry. It's just, Helga said it, and I agree, you would make a wonderful mother!"

"Really?" Olga asked, tears coming to her eyes. She looked at Helga. "You really believe that?"

"Maybe," Helga said, looking down at the carpet. "I may have said something like that."

"Oh, Helga, you have no idea . . ." Olga just burst into tears. Lila looked over, and saw Helga was uncomfortable with all this display of affection. They both watched in silence as Olga slowly pulled herself together. "Lila, I would love to adopt your baby-"

"Great!" Lila said, jumping up. "Then it's settled. You can have it when it's born."

"Lila, wait, please," Olga said, sitting down next to her. "You have to understand something though."

"What?" Lila asked, sitting back down. "You want a baby, I'm too young for a baby, with you at least I know it will have a great mom and dad and grow up safe."

"I'm in pain," Olga said.

"I'm, uh, gonna go get . . . something," Helga said, getting up and rushing out of the room.

Lila watched her go, before looking back at Olga.

"What do you mean, you're in pain?" Lila asked. "Is it about the miscarriages? Because Helga told me-"

"I just lost a baby the other day, Lila," Olga told her softly. "I need some time to recover. Plus this is still such early stages for you. You may well change your mind closer to the time. Or when you hold the baby in your arms." Lila watched as Olga's eyes misted over. She bit her lip. Oh, God, why had she been so insensitive?

"I'm sorry," Lila said.

"It's okay," Olga said, smiling at her. "I can . . . understand."

"Really?" Lila asked. "How?"

Olga looked toward the kitchen where Helga had gone.

"When I was seventeen I got pregnant myself," Olga whispered. "I had an abortion though."

Lila gasped, and pulled back. Ollga put a finger to her lips.

"My family never knew, and I never told the father," she said. She was quiet for a moment before sighing. "I regreted it."

"Why?" Lila asked.

"Because there would be times when I would sit and wonder. What if I had kept the baby? Was it a boy or a girl. What would he or she look like? What would they be like?" she said. "It's hard to live with what if's. And now . . . . Sometimes, I wonder if this is the Universe's way of punishing me. When I had a baby I didn't want it. Now I want a baby, and can't have it . . . "

Lila was quiet and let it sink in.

"Lila, how you feel now, about this little life, may not be how you feel in . . . how far along are you?" she asked.

"Ten weeks," Lila whispered.

"Yeah, see, early days still," Olga said. "Your not even through the first trimester."

A tear slipped from Lila's eye.

"I will be here for you if you need me," Olga said, taking her hand and squeezing it. "But I don't want to say yes, get excited and have you change your mind."

"I would feel horrible if that happened," Lila admitted. And she would. Olga was so wonderful, and had been through so much already. She would never want to hurt her like that.

"After the baby is born, if you still feel the same way, I will foster the child. That will give you time to really think about it. If after that you decide you really want to give him or her up, I will be more than happy to adopt," Olga told her. "But let's get through the pregnancy first. And my little confession to you, Lila. It stays between me and you. Not even Helga knows, okay?"

Lila nodded.

"Alright then, so are you wanting to stay for dinner? Merric can drive you home afterwards," Olga told her, standing up and holding her hands out for her. Lila smiled and took them, letting Olga pull her up.

"Why not?"

….

….

Dinner was divine. They stayed and caught up for a bit, then it was time to go home. The drive home was quiet, though Lila knew Helga wanted to know what had happened. Nothing had been said at dinner, so maybe Helga thought it was something that Olga and her husband were going to talk about in private. Lila sighed, leaning back into the seat, and falling asleep. Helga shaking her shoulder woke her up.

"Home time," Helga said, smiling.

"Oh, oh, okay, thankyou," Lila said to Merric.

"Anytime," he said, smiling back.

Lila adored him. He was smart, and funny and witty, and was able to keep up with Helga. She also noted that Helga seemed to like him a lot, too. Helga walked her to her front door and hugged her goodnight.

"We'll talk tomorrow morning, okay?" she said.

"Okay, Helga," Lila said. "And thankyou. For everything."

"Yeah, yeah, call you Olga," she joked. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Helga."


	4. Chapter 4

(A bit of time skipping in this chapter)

…..

…..

"Are you okay,?" the woman asked, moving the wand over Lila's tummy. It hurt a bit as the woman was really pushing down hard. She was now halfway through her second trimester. Though Rhonda and Nadine had started to talk to her again, she was still feeling isolated from her peers. Some treated her as though she had some kind of disease, others a joke. The campaign to make her life miserable however, wound down, just before Christmas break, as a new scandal broke in the school. The Principal and an student-teacher were caught having an affair by the Principal's wife. The woman had completely lost her shit, at school, in the hallway, in front of the kids, swearing and screaming and yelling about his "infidelity and slut". Everybody was talking about that, though some still talked about Lila, it was a dying thing.

Christmas was pretty uneventful. She got gifts and cards from her family, and her dad bought a bassinette, but they didn't put it up. She still hadn't brought up the idea of adopting the child out to Olga and her husband when it was born.

Everyone was talking about their Christmas goings on when school went back, and Lila wasn't the hot topic, or if she was it was kept to whispers.

Until it started to become obvious.

Around the twenty week mark she got up and swore her belly had popped out over night. She could feel it moving too.

"I can't wait til I can, too," Helga said. Lila smiled. Olga and her husband had been a great support.

It was hard to describe the feeling of a baby moving inside her. It didn't feel like kicks, but like . . . a roller going across her stomach, but from the inside. It was the best she could do when Helga asked.

"You'll know it when you have kids of your own," Lila assured her.

Helga had shaken her head.

"No. I'll never have kids," she said.

"You don't know that," Lila said, touching her friends shoulder. Helga flinched and moved away, looking away as she did.

"Arnold's coming to visit," she said.

"Really? That will be nice," Lila said encouragingly.

"Yeah," Helga said, but didn't talk about it anymore after that, and Lila didn't bring it up. She had noticed a change in Helga recently. She seemed to be distancing herself from her and she couldn't understand why.

When she was entering her third trimester she found out. She had gotten to school before Helga and opened her locker to find the notes.

LESBO!

Lila looked through all the notes. All of them making derogatory jokes about her and Helga being lovers, some going as far as to say that they set it up for Lila to get pregnant because there was no way they could ever legally adopt or biologically have a baby.

"I tried to keep you from finding out," Helga's voice said. Lila turned to her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded, angry. Now she understood all those whispers and smiles and laughs behind her back. She had thought it was because she was showing. But it was actually because everyone was making jokes about her and Helga.

Helga shrugged.

"Upside, I got a free dildo the other day," Helga joked. Lila laughed.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Haven't opened it yet," she said. "Thought we'd try it out after the baby comes."

Lila saw some guys stop and look their way, from the corner of her eye.

"Wish we knew it was, we could have sent them a thankyou note," she said. "Those things aren't cheap."

They smiled at each other and then Helga threaded her arm through Lila's.

"Let's go," she said smiling.

….

…

Phoebe was quiet at lunch. Helga finally had enough and demanded to know what was going on.

"Gerald asked me out on a date," she said quietly.

Lila and Helga were both quiet for a moment.

"That's great," Helga said, smiling. Even Lila could tell it was forced. But Phoebe just didn't seem to see it.

"Yeah, it is," Phoebe said smiling. "I've been waiting for so long for him to make a move . . ."

Lila looked over to see Helga politely nodding, but could see she wasn't happy about it. After lunch she asked her about it.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you happy for Phoebe?" Lila asked.

"Because it means I wont see her during the entire time Arnold is here," she said.

…

…

"Hmmm," the doctor said, looking at her pee test. "I'm going to send you back for some more blood tests."

Lila looked worriedly up at Olga. Olga patted her shoulder.

"Why?" Lila asked.

"There's high protein levels in your urine," she explained. "That could indicate a problem. Better safe then sorry."

"What kind of problem?" Lila demanded, feeling panicked.

"Your blood pressure is high too," the doctor said.

"It could mean a diet change," Olga said. "That's all, right doc?"

"Like I said, more blood tests," she said. "And take it easy, okay kiddo?"

…

…

"Arnold's here," Helga said, flopping down on Lila's bed.

"Really?" Lila asked, looking through the bag Olga had brought over.

"How did your scan go? Boy or girl?" Helga asked. Lila looked up. Why did Helga do that?

"Girl," she said. "Oh, Helga, look at this!" She pulled out a cute little onesie.

"What else is in there?" Helga asked, coming over to look as well.

"Dad bought some things today as well," Lila told her. "I talked to him about the possibility of Olga fostering or maybe adopting her."

"What did he say?" Helga asked, curious.

"He thinks it's a great idea, but he still wants to be able to be involved, you know?" Lila told her. "He admits he couldn't raise another child. Not alone. And it wouldn't be fair to the baby either, being put into daycare, because I'll be off at University, and dad cant just stop working . . . "

"So he'd be on board?" Helga asked. "And you still want to do this? Adopt it out to Olga?"

"I think that's the best thing, especially after talking to dad," Lila said.

Helga nodded, then dug her phone out of her pocket. Reading a message she groaned.

"What wrong?" Lila asked, sitting next to her.

"Welcome home party for Arnold," she said. "Tonight, apparently. It's a surprise, courtesy of Miss Rhonda Wellington Lloyd." Lila rolled her eyes.

"In other words, an excuse for a piss up," Lila stated.

"Yep." Both girls were silent for a moment. Then Lila broke it.

"So are we going to go?"

….

….

Arnold approached them. When they came through the door he came over, then stopped in surprise for a moment, taking in Lila's condition.

"Hi," he said, giving her a smile, before turning and greeting Helga. Helga smirked.

"I'm gonna go get a drink," she said to Lila, then took off towards the kitchen. Lila watched her go, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

"So how have you been?" she asked Arnold, bringing his attention back to her.

"Good," he said. "I'm filling out college applications and all that jazz. How about you? How long do you have left?"

Lila self-consciously placed a hand over her bump. "Another 20 weeks, give or take."

"Wow, that long?" he asked. Lila nodded. She could feel the baby moving in response to the music. Looking around she saw it wasn't the usual crowd. It was just old friends from their old school all wanting to catch up with Arnold. Well it made sense. Arnold was nobody to the kids from their high school. Why would they want to come along, other than to get drunk. The good thing though, was that it wasn't as crazy as what some parties had turned out in the past. Also, she saw Rhonda's mom poke her head in, then disappear again.

"Here you go, babe," Helga said, suddenly appearing by her side, breaking the awkward silence that fell between her and Arnold. "Just juice. No alcohol. Her parents are supervising this one."

"Yeah, I was thinking it was pretty tame compared to her past ones," Lila said, looking around. A few old school mates stared at her and whispered, but no one said anything mean. there was a sudden boom then everyone heard rain start pouring down.

"Where did that come from?" Sid called out.

"It's been trying to rain for a couple weeks now," Stinky said. They went back to talking about other things.

"So what else has been going on with you?" he asked, smiling at Lila. Lila looked over to see Helga frowning slightly.

"Oh, uh, not much," she admitted. "Just getting through it all. Helga's been a huge help."

"Really?" Arnold asked, looking at Helga in surprise.

"I can be helpful," she snapped.

"I didn't say you weren't," he replied, frowning at her.

"No, but you implied it," she snapped, turning on her heel and storming off.

"Helga!" Lila called out. She glared quickly at Arnold, then took off in Helga's direction. She heard the front door slam, and Rhonda demanding to know what was going on. Going outside she saw Helga chuck her brink on the ground and continue stalking down the footpath. Lila called out to her.

"Helga stop, please!" Lila cried. "Is this about Arnold? Because he was paying attention to me?"

"No!" Helga yelled at her. It was really starting to pour down now.

"Then what was it?" she asked. Helga sighed.

"I felt jealous," she admitted. "Come on, lets get out of the rain. You don't want to get."

She let Helga pull her into the house and close the door. She could see Helga's dad was fast asleep in front of the T.V. she followed Helga upstairs and into her room.

"So it was because of Arnold paying me so much attention?" Lila asked again.

Helga was quiet for the longest time.

"Helga," Lila said quietly, sitting next to her and touching her shoulder lightly.

"No," Helga said. "I was jealous because you were paying attention to him."

"I don't like him like that Helga," she said.

"Arrgh! That's not what I mean!" she yelled out, frustration clear in her voice and on her face. She crossed her arms and scowled at her bedroom door.

"I don't get it," she said.

"Neither do I," Helga admitted. "All I know is I hated Arnold paying you attention, and not because it was you he was paying attention too. I can't explain it. It wasn't about Arnold. That's all I know."

Lila looked down at her hands. Was Helga saying what she thought she was saying? Did Helga like her-like her? This was awkward.

"I want to be alone," Helga finally said.

"Helga-"

"Please, Lila, just go," she repeated, not looking at her.

Lila nodded and got up and left, her heart feeling heavy. She felt so bad for Helga. First Arnold, now her. When was Helga going to find her oh-so-special someone?

…..

…..

The next day Helga completely ignored her calls and texts. She wasn't home when she stopped by either. She called Olga and was told she hadn't heard from her. She tried Phoebe, who also hadn't heard from her. By lunchtime she was starting to worry.

Where was she.

Then she saw Arnold. He had a face of thunder. She called out to him and he turned and glared at her. She stopped and took a step back.

"I, uh, was wondering if you had seen Helga?" she asked.

"She's your girlfriend," Arnold snapped. "Apparently."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"What do I mean?" Arnold asked. "I mean that you two were sneaking around-"

"No, Arnold it's not like that!" Lila cried.

"Then what's it like?" he demanded. "Because suddenly Helga has no interest in me, but she sure as hell was pissed off about something the other night. And I'm not deaf. I've heard the rumours!"

"Arnold-"

"This is insane!" he yelled out, throwing his hands in the air with a laugh. "I'm supposed to be worried about another guy sweeping her off her feet, not one of my girl friends!"

"That's not fair!" Lila shouted.

Arnold looked past her and sighed. "I'm done."

"I'm sorry," she heard Helga say from behind her. She twirled around and threw herself into Helga's arms, but Helga made no move to hug her back, she just stared at Arnold's retreating back.

"Helga I was so worried!" she sobbed. "You weren't texting back, or answering your phone, you weren't home, I didn't know where you were. Where were you?"

"The Pier."

"The pier?" Lila asked, stumped. "Why? Helga, what happened with Arnold?"

Helga shook her head and pulled away.

"Nothing," she said, and started walking away in the opposite direction, looking down at the ground.

….

….

Lila sat in her room thinking. Had Helga been pulling away from her because of these feelings she was having? Lila sighed. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel more for Helga than just friendship. But it was more like sister-love. Wasn't it?

"Arrgh! Now she has me thinking about it and wondering, stupid Helga," she said, kicking her desk chair. "Ow! Stupid chair. Stupid me!"

"Lila?" her father called through her bedroom door. "Are you alright in there?"

"Just having a moment, dad!" she called back.

"Okay, well don't hurt yourself, okay?" he called back. "I've invited Olga and her husband over for dinner tonight."

Lila's eyes widened. "Is Helga coming too?"

"I figured she would be anyway," he said. She listened as he moved away. Lila turned and checked her phone. Nothing, except a message from Phoebe asking how her day was going and if she needed anything. She sighed and dropped it on the floor, sitting on her bed. Flopping was a bad idea as she had discovered yesterday. She was too big to flop on her tummy, and too heavy to flop on her back. How was she supposed to be dramatic with this stupid baby belly?

Sitting she decided she would kick her shoes off. One went across the room, the other went up in the air, and just as it came down on her head she saw Helga standing in her doorway. Lila barely registered that the shoes hit her in the face.

"Ow," she said. "I mean, Helga, hi."

"Hey, you alright there?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, smiling. "Where have you been?"

"Thinking," she said. "And . . . I spent some time at Arnold's with him."

"Oh," Lila said, feeling disappointment.

"I told him off for having a go at you yesterday," Helga told her. "And we had an argument."

"About what?" she asked.

"You. Me. Feelings," she said. "Apparently he hasn't seen anyone since he moved. And he expected me to be the same, and I told him I have, then he was asking about you and everything he had heard about us."

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Your like my sister," she admitted. "That's how I feel. I was . . . confused for a bit, but . . ."

"Oh, Helga!" Lila leaped forward giving her a bone crushing hug.

"Do you mind? Personal bubble, babe," Helga snapped, pulling away and using her fingers to make a circle in the air between them. "Yeesh!"

…

…

"Halfway there kiddo," Merric said, coming in and ruffling her hair. Lila blushed. She was developing quite a crush on him. She had also figured out that Helga possibly had a crush on him as well, judging by the way her eyes would light up and a pink blush would come to her cheeks.

Olga gave her a smile and hug. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Lila said. "A bit grumpy. And my ankles are a bit swollen."

"And what about you, Helga? I heard your little boyfriend was back in town," Olga said, winking. Helga went red and turned away.

"I don't know what your talking about," she said. Lila and Olga shared a conspiring smile.

"Well, I'm glad everything is going well," Olga said, coming in.

"Hello Olga, hello Merric," Mr. Sawyer said, coming in and shaking hands with them. "The girls have prepared dinner tonight-"

"Shit!" Helga said loudly, then took off back into the kitchen.

…

…

"Hi Lila," Nadine said quietly. Lila turned around and gave her a smile.

"Hello, Nadine," she said politely. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good," she said. "How long have you got to go now?"

"Eighteen weeks," she told her. "I won't be coming to school in the last trimester, though."

"Oh, how come?" Nadine asked.

"It will just be a bit too much," she said. "I will be doing school work from home."

"Fair enough," Nadine said. "Is it scary?"

Lila looked at Nadine. Really looked at her.

"Why?"

"I'm just curious. I'm not pregnant myself, but one day I will be," she said.

"A little bit," she said. "I'm over my fear of needles. Talk about becoming a pin cushion."

"Really? Why's that?" Nadine asked.

"Oh, they just check glucose levels and stuff," she said. She didn't want to admit that she never really paid attention to what it was. She just went in, got the tests and left.

That afternoon she got a call from the obstitrician though that changed that.

"I need you to come in tomorrow if possible," she said over the phone. "I would take you today, but I cant fit you in."

"That's okay, I can make it tomorrow after school," she said.

"No, I want to see you sooner," she said. "Nine."

"Is something wrong?" Lila asked, concerned.

"I just want to talk to you about your latest test results," she was told in a soothing voice. "I'm all full up tomorrow afternoon and can only fit you in in the morning. And it is a bit important."

"Okay, well I will be there," she said.

"Bring a support person," the woman said, then hung up.

…..

…..

"Hi Lila," Arnold said the next morning.

"Arnold?" she asked, confused. "Where's Helga?"

"She couldn't make it this morning," he said. "School. I'm home schooled, so I don't need to be there. She asked me to take you in to the hospital for an appointment."

"Oh," Lila said. So Helga and Arnold were talking? That was . . . good.

"I'm sorry about the other day," he said, opening the door for her.

"It's okay," she said, slipping in. "I think I understand."

She liked Arnold, and was glad he was going to be helping her out, but she would have much preferred Olga or her dad. Or even Merric. But they all had jobs, and Helga had said she would do it. She smiled at Arnold's parents, who smiled back, but said nothing.

"I need to get my licence," he admitted.

"That's okay, she said, smiling at him. "Probably best anyway."

"Well, my mom is a doctor," he said. "So I thought maybe she could go in with you."

Lila looked at Arnold's mother, who smiled at her again, but said nothing. She had never really had much to do with Arnold's parents. Or really, anyone who lived or stayed at the Boarding House.

"Oh," she said.

"I don't need to come in if you don't want me too," she said to Lila.

"No, it's okay, I was just . . . I was expecting Helga," she admitted, feeling like crying. She wanted Helga with her so badly.

….

….

Sitting in the waiting room, she listened to Arnold talk about his time away with his parents. She listened with half an ear, and he knew that, but he was obviously trying to take her mind off things. Suddenly her phone rang.

"Where are you?" Helga's voice asked.

"The waiting room, why?" she asked. She looked up when the door flew open and saw Helga coming.

"Aren't you meant to be in school?" Arnold asked, laughing.

"Well, apparently my mom called, and mentioned a family emergency," Helga said. "Funny thing is, when I went outside to wait, the only mother I saw sitting there was yours."

"Your mom called Helga?" Lila asked.

Arnold shrugged. "I think she felt bad for you. So she pretended to be Mrs. Pataki."

"You knew she was going to do this?" Lila asked.

"Yeah, but we didn't say anything just in case it didn't work," Helga said, giving her a hug. Leaning down in front of Lila's belly Helga said, "How's Annabelle?"

"Oh, she kicked!" Lila said.

"Good kick or bad kick?" Helga asked.

"Good, I think," Lila said, smiling at her. Helga smiled back. Arnold coughed.

"So I'll just go wait outside for you two with my parents, okay?" he said. The girls nodded at him and smiled, then sat down together.

That they instantly held hands wasn't lost on Arnold.

He frowned.

…

…

"So you tests came back with very high glucose levels," the doctor told her.

"What does that mean?" Lila asked, holding Helga's hand and glancing at her. Helga gave her a wuick smile.

"Gestational diabetes," she said.

"Oh my God, is my baby going to die?" Lila cried out.

"No, no, not at all, but it does mean we need to work on your diet, and exercise regime," she said. "If it doesn't improve, you may need to have insulin shots. I will be giving you home tests."

Lila watched as the doctor typed some notes into her computer, then printed them off. She put a copy of notes and tests results into a folder.

"How did I get it?" Lila asked.

"Pregnancy cause a lot of changes in hormone levels. Sometimes it can affect your body's ability to produce enough insulin naturally," the doctor told her. "Usually, with more exercise and a change in diet it can be managed. I wont give you the insulin unless you really need it. In saying this, if it doesn't improve, you need to know that it may lead to a caesarean section to deliver your baby, and you may get a urinary tract infection. If you do you come straight back to me. I mean it."

Lila nodded.

"I have put all the information you will need in your folder. Go over it," she was told sternly. Then she turned her look on Helga. "Make sure she does."

…

…

"So what's up?" Arnold asked.

"Gestational diabetes," Helga told him.

"I didn't know you were diabetic," Arnold said.

Lila shook her head.

"It will go away after the baby is born," Arnold's mother said from the front seat.

"I'm going to be seeing a specialist and will probably see a nutritionalist as well, to help manage it," Lila said quietly. Arnold's mother smiled at her in the mirror.

"You'll be fine."


	5. Chapter 5

Lila was put on a strict diet and had an exercise regime. But she had started to notice pain in her pubic area. It got so bad that it made her cry.

"What's wrong?" Olga had asked one day, during a visit to the doctor.

"I have so much pain, I can barely walk," she said.

"Where abouts?" the doctor asked.

"Here," she said, indicating to her pubic area. "It feels like it's being torn apart. And my ribs ache so bad, too."

"Hmm, symphystic pubic dysfunction," the doctor said.

"What's that?" Lila asked, worried. "Is it bad?"

"Your body is producing the hormone relaxin," she explained. "All the muscles and ligaments in your body will be getting softer, preparing itself for birth. The pain in your ribs is probably the baby pushing them apart."

"My ribs?" Lila asked, shocked.

"Have you been reading anything I have given you?" the doctor asked.

"A bit," Lila admitted. She had tried, but she got bored with it. The doctor sighed.

"I will give you a sheet that has ways to minimise the pain. For starters, keep your knees together when you get in and out of cars, or even up from a chair or bed," the doctor told her, showing her what she meant. "Don't forget your pelvic tilts. Sitting down to get dressed will help, too. Try using slip on shoes."

Lila nodded, taking it all in.

"Hopefully it will all be gone after the baby is born," she told her smiling.

"Only ten weeks to go," Olga said excitedly.

Lila smiled. She didn't know how to tell Olga.

But she still wanted her to take the baby.

"In good news, your glucose levels have come down, and so had your blood pressure. This is all very good, but that doesn't mean you can ditch the diet yet, okay?" the doctor told her.

Lila breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thankyou," she said.

"Not a problem."

On the way home Lila decided to tell Olga.

"I still want to give the baby up to you," she said.

"Lila-"

"We've talked this over with my dad," she said. "And my mind hasn't changed."

"Lila, you haven't held the baby yet," Olga said. "Your mind may completely change."

"No, Olga, it wont," she said. "I know it wont."

They were quiet the rest of the way.

…..

…..

"Hey," Helga said. "Trial date."

"What are you talking about?" Lila asked.

"They've made a date for Ludwig and Wolfgang," Helga told her.

"Oh, do I need to be there?" Lila asked.

"No, honey, you don't," her dad told her. "You just need to write out a victim impact statement, which will be read to the judge. They have no choice but to plead guilty. The video they took of themselves damned them."

There was something that they weren't telling her, and she told them so.

"Another girl came forward," her father admitted. "She didn't get pregnant, but still."

"Oh my gosh!"

"So you weren't the first," Helga said.

"And you wouldn't have been the last, no doubt," her father said.

"Well, at least they wont be able to do that to anymore young woman," Olga said.

"We can only hope," her father said. "May I have a word to you?"

Olga nodded and followed him into the lounge. Helga and Lila crept up and eavesdropped.

"Have you made a decision on adopting the baby?" they heard him ask.

"Lila told me in the car she still wants to adopt it out to me," Olga told him.

"No pressure or anything, but it would be really good if you could," he said.

"I understand Mr. Sawyer, I want to, very much, but I don't want to get my hopes up, only for Lila to change her mind," Olga told him.

"I understand that, I do, but even if she did, she cannot keep it," he told her.

Lila gasped and took a step backwards. Helga straightened up and looked at her in alarm.

"Excuse me? But I really think that should be Lila's choice," Olga said.

"Lila is a child herself," he told Olga harshly. "She doesn't know what she wants."

There was a tense silence, the Lila turned around and took off upstairs. She closed her door behind her quietly, so there was no way that the adults would know she may have heard. She couldn't believe her father felt that way! What right did he have to take such a choice away from her?

Five minutes later Helga entered.

"Can you believe him?" Lila almost shouted.

"Good thing you didn't stick around then," Helga told her, sitting down on her bed.

"Why?" Lila asked.

"He's basically told Olga that if she doesn't say yes or no either way, Child Services will be waiting outside the birthing room," Helga told her.

"Oh my God!" she gasped. "He's been so supportive though!"

Helga just shrugged.

"Olga will take the baby, Lila," Helga told her. "She will probably take you too, if need be."

There was a knock on the door, and Lila called out for the person to come in. Olga entered, looking less then cheery.

"Well now," she said, putting on a smile. "I've made the decision to take the baby when it's born."

Lila got up and gave her a hug.

"I know she will be safe and happy with you," Lila said, starting to cry.

"That doesn't mean you get off scott free though," Olga warned. "You still have your senior year before you go trotting off the University."

"I know," Lila said.

"So that means you can breastfeed, at least for a few months," Olga said.

"Breastfeed?" Lila said. "I hadn't thought about it."

"Well, I took the liberty of going out and buying a pump, so you can pump milk for the baby while your at school," Olga said. "I mean, pump the milk before you go to school, and I can feed the baby while your away."

…

…

In her dream, Lila was rushing to the toilet, sat down, and ahhhh.

In reality, at thirty seven and a half weeks, her eyes flew open as she felt a bit of pee come out. Clenching her pelvic floor muscles and getting up fast, ran to the toilet, while it dribbled down her leg. It wasn't til she sat down that she realised that her bladder wasn't telling her she needed to pee. Some fluid gushed out, then trickled, then stopped.

"What the hell?" she asked, looking down. When she was sure she was done she got up flushed the toilet and went back to her bed. She could see where she had leaked. Helga was still fast asleep on the other side. Lila felt so embarrassed. She leaned down though to sniff it, and found there was no smell.

"Weird," she whispered. Then she felt more fluid dribbling down her leg. "Seriously?

"Huh? What's wrong?" Helga murmured, rolling over to look at her. "What are you doing?"

"I think I peed the bed, but it doesn't smell like pee," Lila said. Helga hot up like a shot and scrunched her face up.

"Oh, gross, Lila! You could have told me before," she whispered harshly. "What if I had rolled into it?"

"I don't think it's pee though," Lila said. She turned on her heel and went back to the toilet and sat down. She felt like a clot came out, heard a plop, looked down and saw that something had indeed come out. It was in the toilet. "Oh my God! My plug!"

"Lila, what's going on?" her father asked, rushing in.

"My waters!" she cried out, going into a panic. "We need to get to the hospital, my waters have broken. I'm going to have the baby any minute!"

"Yeah, if you were on T.V or in a movie," Helga said, yawning. "Remember what the doc said. Just because your water breaks, doesn't mean the baby is going to come flying out any minute. Your just going into labour maybe?"

Lila started to cry. "I'm not ready! It's too early, we haven't got the bassinette set up or anything! I haven't even picked those clothes up from layaway."

"I'll go call your obstetrician," her father said, rushing off.

"Your going to be fine," Helga said, coming forward, putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her back to the bedroom. "I'll change the sheets, throw down a mattress protector, and you get some more sleep. You'll need it."

Lila nodded. She felt a small ache, like she used to have before her period came. But nothing serious. After Helga had the sheets changed, and helped Lila back into bed, her father came back.

"He said not to come to the hospital unless there is blood in the fluid, it's green or smelly," he told her. "Was it any of that?"

"No," she said.

"Then we wait," he said.

Lila looked at the time. 2.45am.

So at 2.20am her waters had broke.

…

"I feel ill," Lila said, later that morning.

"Want something to eat?" Helga asked.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Ohh."

"What's wrong?" Helga asked, sounding and looking relaxed.

"It's hurting a bit more now," she said.

All of a sudden there was a strong powerful cramping pain across her stomach that seemed to shoot straight through to her back.

"Owwwwwwwwwww!" she cried out, doubling over. She was crouching low, but hanging onto the table. Now Helga looked alarmed. Which alarmed Lila more.

"Are you okay? Of course your not okay, what a stupid question Helga!" she berated herself. "Here."

"No, no, it's hurts too much to stand. I need the toilet!"

Lila pushed herself up, looking at the time as she rushed past the clock. 12.37pm. When she got to the toilet, she pulled her pants down, sat down and whooooooooooosh!

"Ahhhhhhh," she cried out as her bowels emptied themselves. Where had all this poo come from? It just kept coming.

"Are you okay?" she heard Helga asked on the other side of the door.

"I have diareoh!" she yelled. "It wont stop!"

It finally did, after what felt like forever. She stayed still for a few minutes, and when she was sure there would be no more, she got up, wiped herself clean, flushed the toilet, and was washing her hands when she suddenly threw up in the sink. Helga had come into the bathroom at this point and was holding her hair while she gagged and threw up. When she was able to straighten herself up she saw Helga was holding a glass of water for her.

"Here, I brought you some water. Your dad was just on the phone with your doctor. They said keep your fluids up," she told her. "He also wants you to go in now. Check to see if it was for sure your waters that broke."

She just nodded.

"Everything is in the car already, including the capsule!" Helga said excitedly.

Lila made her way down between contractions. Helga helped her the whole way, steadying her down the stairs, practically carrying her out to the car, and helping her in. She sat in the back seat with her, holding her hand, and talking to her soothingly. Lila could feel herself panicking.

Getting to the hospital, she was put in a wheelchair, which was just as well, and wheeled into the maternity unit.

Helga called Olga.

Her doctor and a nurse came in, and handed her a pad.

It came back blue.

"It appears it was your waters," she said, smiling at Lila.

"Oh no, no it's too soon!" Lila yelled. "I'm not ready!"

"Your body is telling us otherwise," the doctor told her, smiling. "I need to see how dilated you are. This will require me to put my hand inside. It will be pretty uncomfortable."

Lila looked over as Helga came rushing in.

"My waters, Helga," Lila said. "I'm in labour!"

"Already?" Helga asked, looking at the doctor.

"It happens," she said, shrugging.

The contractions were getting closer and closer, but then stopped. Lila started by sucking gas. By three the next morning, Lila was exhausted, and starting to get a fever. Her contractions were all over the place. She blanked out a few times, but then came to. Oxytocin was given to her, and the needle hurt like hell going in. At four twenty seven, an anaesthetist came in with an epidural, because Lila couldn't stand the pain. She felt coldness going down her spine. She did manage to feel embarrassed as she wee'd everywhere afterwards. But the pain didn't let up. This worried her doctor, who then put her hand up there.

"Shoot," she said, coming out.

"What's wrong?" Olga asked.

"The baby is stuck in her hip bone," she told her. "I can't move it."

She could see the doctor thinking. "I'll be right back."

As she left the room, Lila began to cry.

"What's going on? Is the baby okay?" she asked. A few minutes later she returned with a nurse, wheeling in some type of machine.

"I need to monitor your baby's heartbeat," she explained. "The best way for me to this is from the inside. If the baby is in distress we may need to look at a caesarean section."

Olga covered her mouth with her hand. Helga grabbed Lila's hand and squeezed.

"Didn't you have a date with Arnold last night?" Lila asked her.

"Yeah, but he understood, and sends you his best wishes," she told her smiling. Lila just nodded. She watched apprehensive as the nurse took some kind of little clamps and inserted them into her. She was glad for the epidural now, as she felt none of it.

"Try to relax," the nurse told her. She started doing some breathing techniques she had read about.

But by seven am the doctor had disappeared out the door again. When she came back an different anaesthetist was with her, with another epidural.

"We're going to prep you for a ceaser," she told Lila. "The baby is in distress, and can't move on it's own, and I can't move it. It needs to come out now."

"Oh God," Lila moaned. The second epidural was put in, and again she felt the coolness go down her spine. Ten minutes later they were wheeling her into surgery.

It occurred to her then that her father wasn't there.

…..

…..

At eight nineteen am her little girl was in her arms.

...

...

I know there's a spelling mistake in here somewhere, I just can't find it now. So frustrating!


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